do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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