Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
