UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
