I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
