Just fell off a train. Bad.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize