did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
