I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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