at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
