i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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