you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
