I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize