We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
