So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am available for nakedness
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
