do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize