two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
