I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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