Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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