I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
