Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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