i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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