i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
