Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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