if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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