So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Welp...herpes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
