You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
