I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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