they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
is wine microwaveable?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
