I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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