they need to just BURY HIM!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
