i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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