I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
