I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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