We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
