picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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