I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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