he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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