and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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