It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
