Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she looked like the before picture.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
