oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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