ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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