i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
smell my finger.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
