There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
