No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
