I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Randomize
