I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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