it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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