Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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