he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
