Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
