In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
