I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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