one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
