I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
