piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
