I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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