now i know why i became what i already was.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
