Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
