is wine microwaveable?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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