I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
