It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
