It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
false alarm, still single
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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