Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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