There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She's just so happy...and so naked.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
