dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
