We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
